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Rejoice, my fellow Americans, the Debtpocalypsegeddon is almost over! America is back on top (of its flaming pile of unpaid bills, bounced checks, borrowed loans, crumpled receipts, IOUs, and angry post-it threats from China!) Woohoo! USA#1! USA#1! USA#1!
After weeks of alternately fucking with, psyching out, and pissing off President Obama by acting like a bunch […]
It’s Monday in America, meaning it’s a brand new week for the very mature adults in Congress to flitter about like special needs schoolchildren, while our nation teeters towards the brink of catastrophic self-induced collapse.
Hooray!?
Of course, being the mature, weeping, unnaturally orange-tinted Republican House Speaker that he is, John Boehner has naturally decided to stop […]
And the winner of the screw you, sniveling weasel, economy be damned, willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead, shameless, narcissistic, prick award goes to….
“I want what I want when I want it.”
House Majority Leader Eric Cantor’s high school yearbook quote.
Apparently, Eric Ivan Cantor wanted the same thing he wants now: to whine […]
Ah yes, here it is, the old rusted-out camper, America’s most trusted journalist to warn us all about the evil (gay?) that lurks in the hearts of men. More specifically, Teabagging men who loudly & proudly align themselves with a group named after the hilarious, super-straight act of dipping one man’s testicles in the mouth […]
Howdy, America! While you were temporarily freed from the shackles of your office cubicle in order to patriotically guzzle beer, shove burgers into your mouth, and light sparkly red, white, and blue trinkets that explode in the sky in celebration of our nation’s Independence from elitist accents, crumpets, bad teeth the British, Fox News was […]
Barack Obama, aka Barry from the block (Pennsylvania Ave, what what!) finally got around to installing the Twitter application on his Blackberry, probably now that the rest of the dorks in Congress have taken a collective, much needed break from incessantly tweeting fuzzy pics of their genitalia and other wonderful congressional delights in 140 characters […]
So now that Anthony Weiner and his rock hard weiner abs have been turning up every which way in the never-ending dick joke that is now his life, the once-promising, loudmouth, star New York congressman has decided to do what every other shamed (Democratic) politician does when caught doing weird, naughty things: cries […]
“Sir, Step Away From The First Lady!”
Some pictures say a thousand words. This one just says four: Watch It Old Man!
Okay, okay, fine, so alleged sexual assault is usually no laughing matter. But then again, this 2009 photo of alleged sexual assaulter and serial maid harasser Dominique Strauss-Kahn meeting President Barack Obama and First Lady […]
Unlike that delicate, sensitive Mississippi flower Haley Barbour or creationist and cream puff-loving minister of cheeseburgers Mike Huckabee, Sarah Palin has got what it takes (a low IQ?) to run for president of the United States of Jesus. For one thing, she is more than prepared for the many challenges that lie ahead, not to […]
Ah, Alaska, where the snow comes whipping down the plain and year-round, sub-zero winter causes pain!
The majestic land of scantily populated outcasts, grizzled mainland failures, migrating moose, and money-grubbing half-term governors of God ‘n guns, whose idea of publicly funded art isn’t a sidewalk mural or main street sculpture, but misspelled, grammatically incorrect chickenscratch scrawled […]
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