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It’s Monday in America, meaning it’s a brand new week for the very mature adults in Congress to flitter about like special needs schoolchildren, while our nation teeters towards the brink of catastrophic self-induced collapse.
Hooray!?
Of course, being the mature, weeping, unnaturally orange-tinted Republican House Speaker that he is, John Boehner has naturally decided to stop […]
And the winner of the screw you, sniveling weasel, economy be damned, willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead, shameless, narcissistic, prick award goes to….
“I want what I want when I want it.”
House Majority Leader Eric Cantor’s high school yearbook quote.
Apparently, Eric Ivan Cantor wanted the same thing he wants now: to whine […]
Aspiring Insane-Person-in-Chief and tragic illiteracy victim Michele Bachmann will not sign dumb, 1000+ page bills helping stupid poor people (or pesky sick kids) get health care, mostly because she’s too busy channeling her lovely kindred spirit serial killing clown John Wayne Gacy and also because anything over three pages double spaced 16-point font makes […]
While the world was busy pouring over silly, trivial summer news stories like illegal wars in Libya, the Grand Old Party’s Grand Old War on poor people, and esteemed members of Congress tweeting fuzzy pics of their own esteemed members, the rest of us were breathlessly waiting for real, important news stories about Sarah Palin […]
Now that Michele Bachmann has officially tossed her hat into the presidential ring as the latest, greatest Republican to humiliate themselves on national teevee, make Mitt Romney look electable, get crushed by Obama in the general elections, America can rest easy knowing that the good Lord Jesus Christ will guide His chosen candidate, everyone’s favorite […]
Oh no-zees! The Republicans’ Great White Hope and leading intellectual of the intellectually bankrupt Grand Old Party of terrible ideas, Newt Gingrich is sure having a rough go at this whole “running for president” thing.
Oh, you forgot Newt Gingrich was running for President?? Haha, don’t feel too bad, so did everybody else, including Newt’s campaign […]
“Wishes In The Wind”
While the rest of the nation is abuzz over important things like mysterious underwear-covered crotch shots of a public official with the dual misfortune of having a last name synonymous with a penis, and an unhealthy obsession with his own penis, America’s lovely crop of new Republican governors have settled in nicely, […]
House majority leader and sniveling greed monster Eric Cantor (Republican-Hell) never met a natural disaster victim he didn’t feel complete indifference towards or emergency relief budget he didn’t want to slash into tiny bits and pieces, sort of like the town of Joplin, Missouri where raging tornadoes and violent storms killed at least 122 people, […]
New Jersey Governor of Sandwiches, Chris (yes, I have the same name twice) Christie was either in a terrible mood, terribly hungry, or terribly confused when he mistook a reporter for a patty melt, because he practically bit her head off for asking a simple, innocent question, if he believes in evolution or the […]
You remember Aaron Schock don’t you? The fuchsia gingham shirt-wearing, straight-as-your-hairdresser Republican congressman from Illinois who simply adores voting against the rights of poors, gays, and all other dumb, pathetic schlubs who don’t spend endless hours breathing heavily next to other, sweaty, scantily-clad men all while working to perfect their very own ripped set of […]
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