Obama And Blago: As Different As Black And White

Let’s get one thing straight.

Barack Obama and Rod Blagojevich may both be Democratic politicians from the Land of Lincoln, but the similarities pretty much end there.

For starters, Obama is an unabashed White Sox fan. Blago, on the other hand, is a die-hard Cubs fan, although he is willing to sell his beloved team if the […]

RIP: U.S.Newspapers Doomed To Museum’s Ancient Relics Collection

In what was surely a surprise to nobody, the long-declining newspaper industry has finally gone the way of the dinosaurs.

The once-mighty Tribune Co. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy on Monday, effectively pulling the plug on two of its publications, the Chicago Tribune and Los Angeles Times, which have been hovering on life support for […]

Bye, Bye Blago! IL Gov. Arrested For Being Even Slimier Than We Thought

The Esteemed Gov. Rod Blagojevich Of Illinois

Well, Blago. It was really only a matter of time until you got caught. Everyone knew you were a corrupt, slimy politician–and a terrible governor. What we didn’t know was exactly how scummy you were. Now we do.

And now we can hate you not just for your douchebag […]

Obama Discovers Elusive "Magic Wand" Is Really Just Good Policy Making

Well, well, what a surprise!

Mr. Perfect Barry Obama spent the weekend showing off as usual, this time using his weekend radio address to lay out his economic recovery plan, including several, sweeping initiatives to “help save or create at least two and a half million jobs, while rebuilding our infrastructure, improving our schools, reducing our […]

Why The War In Iraq Is Taking So Long

Now I am not normally one to poke fun at someone’s cultural differences, no matter how comically ripe their differences may be.

But I mean this is just too much.

I don’t care what country you’re from, what language you speak, or which god, if any, you pray to. If you’ve got 4 limbs–a pair of arms […]

The House That Pain Built

George W. Bush may be leaving the White House under a dark cloud of shame and failure, but at least he’s decided to reward himself for a job well done.

In less than 46 days, George and first-babe Laura are heading for greener pastures in Dallas (where else?) where they will reflect on their eight-year pillage […]

Papa Bear Richardson Agrees To Get Shafted As New Commerce Secretary

So Am I Supposed To Like Try To Sell This, Now?

We all know Bill Richardson got the shaft with his lame-o nomination as U.S. Commerce Secretary.

Let’s not kid ourselves with the whole “consolation prize” thing, because that implies there is something desirable or prize-like about the commerce secretary position, and I can assure you the […]

Saxby "Big Daddy" Chambliss Wins Georgia Senate Race; Saves Republicans From Total Irrelevance

Guess what, folks?

Saxby “Big Daddy” Chambliss is no longer just a weird, boob-grabbing pervert, he is now also the proud winner of Georgia’s runoff senate election against boring Democratic nuisance Jim Martin. And it only took him two tries!Well, Saxby, my man, you’ve finally earned it. We knew that loser James “Jim” Martin didn’t stand […]

Eureka! The Great Gay Invasion Into America’s Heartland

Don’t Let This Happen To Your Town!

Unless you figure out a way to stop the dreaded rainbow mafia from coming out of the closet to infiltrate cities across America, your town may suffer the same terrible fate as Eureka Springs, Arkansas, where crazy gay activists have turned this lovely, Christian community into a haven for […]

Black Friday And The "Great Thanksgiving Wars" Of America

Ah yes, the glorious state of our nation.

While India burned from deadly terrorists attacks that killed nearly 200 people over the weekend, the lovely citizens of America gave humble thanks for their blessings with the traditional gorging of poultry (and various weirdly paired marshmallow and potato side-dishes) with friends and family on the one day […]