September « 2009 « Democralypse Now – The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites

The Bright Future Of GOP Shining Star Joe "You Lie" Wilson

It was supposed to be another just another boring night of Barack Obama speaking eloquently to the peoples about his newest plans to ruin America by sending roving, bureaucratic death panels to pull the plug on grandma and provide affordable insurance to the rest of us schlubs.

But nooooooo. One Republican freedom-fighter by the name of […]

Déjà Vu? Barry Talks Health Care, Republicans Talk Trash

Wah Wah. Barry NObama has had a rough couple of weeks trying to get America to see the benefit of having health care options beyond what color stain they’d like on the shoddy wooden casket used to host their pathetic, broke-ass, decrepit bodies.

It’s never easy convincing people to let you help them, especially when the […]

Bubba’s Health Care Tip To Barry: Grow A Pair

When you’re single-handedly responsible for saving two frightened Asian-American lady journalists from the pint-sized dungeon master of the bad Korea, you basically earn the right to do and say whatever you please for the next, oh, six months or so. At least.

It also helps if you happen to be a former president who also tried […]

The Higher Power Of Those In Power

For a country founded firmly on the separation of church and state, America’s colorful flock of lawmakers and politicians sure know a thing or two about God almighty. Especially when it comes to asking his Holiness for all sorts of favors to help them in their mortal quests (whatever they may be).

Like hunky Florida […]

Right-Wing Celebrates Overthrowing One Of Obama’s Evil Czars

Oh no-zees! Amid the quiet R&R of Labor Day Weekend, the White House fired outspoken BLACK “green jobs czar” Van Jones, making the surprise announcement in the wee-early hours of Sunday.

But what terrible crime did Van Jones commit to get the ol’ heave-ho by Obama and crew, (other than the obvious problem of his rather […]

President Obama’s During-School Special On Teevee!

Soon, on Tuesday September 8th at 11 AM to be exact, President Barack Hussein Obama will take to the teevees of our nation’s classrooms for the sole purpose of indoctrinating the minds of America’s fragile youth with evil socialist beliefs.

Dangerous beliefs like the so-called “value of education” and “staying in school” and assorted other tenets […]

Like Sarah Palin, Mark Sanford Is Always An Innocent Victim

Poor Mark Sanford has had a very rough year.

The man’s had to tearfully admit to a lot of sketchy behavior and pretty much constantly lying about everything, including a certain, little-known Appalachian Trail that leads to adulterous sex in Argentina.

With all these baseless new ethics probes over his travel and personal expenses, not to mention […]

There Will Be Blood…In Texas

The secessionist nutjobs (patriots of the Confederacy, former slaveowners and so forth) held a HUGE rally (like 10 people!) in front of the Texas State Capitol last week to show the nation how a Real American acts: By gearing up for a war against their sworn enemy the HATED United States.

But there was something decidedly […]

Rod Blagojevich Unleashes The Page-Turning Truth On America!

OMG, this is the moment all of America–no, make that all of the world–has been waiting for! The truth about about what really happened to Illinois’ most stylish lego-haired crime boss governor: straight from the source himself. So you know it’s all true!

The new, “tell-all” (if the insane rantings of one deranged man qualifies as […]

Michele Bachmann Urges You To Slit Your Wrists For Freedom!

Unstable Minnesota hellwoman Michele Bachman traveled all the way from the wilds of her congressional district to a faraway land called Denver to call upon her fellow conservative warriors to join together in the fight against President Obama’s evil, socialist plot to reform health care.

“This cannot pass,” Michele told the crowd. “What we […]

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