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2012 Fever is on the rise in Iowa, where desperate Republican candidates (and Marcus Bachmann!) deep-throated footlong corndogs (for freedom) in order to get elected President of the “Ames Straw Poll,” hobnob with racist, old, white Midwesterners, provide endless comedic relief to the rest of us, and of course, prove to the entire nation their […]
While the economy continued its downward hell spiral thanks to Standard & Poor’s (really, that’s the best name you could come up with? Really?) very responsible decision to downgrade America’s debt and grind it into highly toxic, spite-flavored tea leaves for Republican enjoyment, Fox News was busy thinking up the most offensive, racist headline their […]
Rejoice, my fellow Americans, the Debtpocalypsegeddon is almost over! America is back on top (of its flaming pile of unpaid bills, bounced checks, borrowed loans, crumpled receipts, IOUs, and angry post-it threats from China!) Woohoo! USA#1! USA#1! USA#1!
After weeks of alternately fucking with, psyching out, and pissing off President Obama by acting like a bunch […]
It’s Monday in America, meaning it’s a brand new week for the very mature adults in Congress to flitter about like special needs schoolchildren, while our nation teeters towards the brink of catastrophic self-induced collapse.
Hooray!?
Of course, being the mature, weeping, unnaturally orange-tinted Republican House Speaker that he is, John Boehner has naturally decided to stop […]
Howdy, America! While you were temporarily freed from the shackles of your office cubicle in order to patriotically guzzle beer, shove burgers into your mouth, and light sparkly red, white, and blue trinkets that explode in the sky in celebration of our nation’s Independence from elitist accents, crumpets, bad teeth the British, Fox News was […]
Barack Obama, aka Barry from the block (Pennsylvania Ave, what what!) finally got around to installing the Twitter application on his Blackberry, probably now that the rest of the dorks in Congress have taken a collective, much needed break from incessantly tweeting fuzzy pics of their genitalia and other wonderful congressional delights in 140 characters […]
“Sir, Step Away From The First Lady!”
Some pictures say a thousand words. This one just says four: Watch It Old Man!
Okay, okay, fine, so alleged sexual assault is usually no laughing matter. But then again, this 2009 photo of alleged sexual assaulter and serial maid harasser Dominique Strauss-Kahn meeting President Barack Obama and First Lady […]
Ah, Alaska, where the snow comes whipping down the plain and year-round, sub-zero winter causes pain!
The majestic land of scantily populated outcasts, grizzled mainland failures, migrating moose, and money-grubbing half-term governors of God ‘n guns, whose idea of publicly funded art isn’t a sidewalk mural or main street sculpture, but misspelled, grammatically incorrect chickenscratch scrawled […]
Okay, fine so President Barack Obama (if that is even his real name) managed to track down and kill that crazy, (man)-cave dwelling, bearded terrorist guy the U.S. has been desperately hunting for oh, I don’t know, only about the last decade or so. Well, whoopdedoo for him!
Just because NObama happened to accomplish what no […]
Woohoo America, Osama bin Laden is finally as dead as Donald Trump’s chances of ever being hired as anything but a bad reality teevee host, courtesy of an elitist red, white, and blue, Obama-approved bullet to the brain by U.S. special forces during a firefight at his secret mansion/military compound in Pakistan. REALLY, GUY!? A […]
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