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“Nooo, I have not had implants. I think a report like that is about as real and truthful that Todd and I are divorcing or that I bought a place in the Hamptons or that Trig is not my own child. And we still put up with that garbage, too.”– Sarah Palin Hot […] $arah Palin sure get’s it. But do you, America? Do you get it?? Because when patron St. $arah was leading thousands of morons chanting her favoritest slogans, “drill, baby drill” and “drill here, drill now,” what she really meant was that we should in no way, shape, or form, be doing exploratory offshore drilling, baby, […] Oh no-zees! All $arah Palin wanted to do was take a much-needed break from her hectic life giving slightly different versions of the same dumb campaign speech at various conventions, trade shows, and wingnut rallies for oodles of delicious, cold hard cash, and head back home to relax with the fam at her lakeside abode […] Fearless defender of a pure white America free from gross brown people, and a woman’s right to cede control of her own reproductive organs to the evil, federal government, $arah Palin is on a one-woman mission from God. A divinely-inspired mission which includes a variety of personal incentives for the ‘Cuda, like seven-figure paydays, several doctored […] So little time, so much money to be made! Whatever is a gal to do? Well, if that gal happens to be a certain Arctic princess and Alaskan cash cow by the name of $arah Palin, then you betcha she’ll be moo, baby mooing all the way to the friggin’ bank! Because the woman can literally do […] National oil whore $arah Palin knows a thing or two about spillin’ baby spillin’ barrels of delicious petroleum up ‘n down America’s southern coast, because one time back in 1989, when Exxon Valdez was drillin’ baby drillin’ all over Prince William Sound, the exact same thing happened to her wonderful Alaska, for Pete’s […] Category 5 Hurricane $arah Louise made landfall in wacky tobacky smokin’ Eugene, Oregon for a li’l one-on-one session with “everyday, hard-working Americans,” who make the great Beaver State the red hot, gun crackin’, gay bashing, immigrant hatin’, bastion of the hard Right we know and love today. Or at least in $arah Palin’s demented mind, […] Awful arctic drifter $arah Palin is apparently getting bored making boatloads of money by quitting her day job(s) so she can put all her energies into doing what she does best: nothing! Except, of course, when using her vast political knowledge and expertise on all security matters to help bring to justice a terrible blight on […] |
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