Categories

Delaware's O'Donnell Disaster Doesn't Believe In Masturbation Or Climate Change, Just The Power Of The Lord, Sarah Palin, To Make Her Senator

Rep. Mike Castle (R-DE) Stands Alone

Eh, now turns out Castle’s actually not standing at all anymore, thanks to Sarah Palin endorsed doomed candidate and anti-masturbation crusader Christine O’ Donnell, the born again, slightly less adorable, substantially more crazy hell version of that cute Circle of Friends/Scent of a Woman actor with the same namesake minus […]

Glenn Beck & Sarah Palin Know The Best Way To Honor 9/11 Victims Is To Score As Much Dirty, Sexy Money Off The Poor Schmucks As Possible!

In “honor” of the thousands of innocent American civilians murdered nine years ago, on that fateful autumn day in 2001, überpatriots Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck will be a holding their own personal 9/11 event in Alaska to “honor” their own uncanny ability to dupe the dumb public into pouring moose piles of dirty money into […]

America's Special People & Living Warnings Against The Dangers Of KFC Arrive For Beckapalooza

Hark, ye caffeinated patriots of the revolution! Rise up, err, or umm remain seated, ye lardbottoms on your ridiculous scooters, paid for by NObama’s Socialist Medicare, so you can stay politically active while remaining aerobically inactive, like true freedom fighters fulfilling MLK’s dream of equality and saturated-fat clogged arteries.

Woohoo!

On this most historic, miraculous God & […]

Glenn Beck Has A Dream...That You Make Him Even Richer By Buying His Dumb Book & Attending His White Power Rally In DC

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s paler, pudgier (un)civil rights “brother” Glenn Lee Beck and his army of Teabaggers will be descending on Washington, DC this weekend to commemorate the anniversary of MLK’s famous “I Have a Dream” speech for whatever reason mobs of angry white men choose to honor the nation’s foremost civil rights activists […]

Now You Can Wear Whatever Dumb, Terrible Reason You're Voting Tea Party Right On Your Proud, White Chest!

Do you crave a hot, new look like some phat new gear to ironically display your disgust at the freaky hillbillies and Klansmen running around with Teabags taped to various appendages, while hootin’ & hollerin’ ’bout how Blacky NObama’s big, bad gubmint is bankruptin’ America?

Then, these chic new “I’m Voting Tea Party” (fill-in-the-blank with whatever […]

Woohoo! Maine Tea Party 'Movment' Ready To Mov Forward, With Or Without The Elitist Letter "E"

Mov Forward Amerika!

Justin Timberlake can bring all the sexy back he wants, so long as he leaves bringin’ dem good ol’ fashioned red meat family-values back to those who understand such things, like the Teabaggers at the Maine Lobsterback Festival.

These patriotic freedom fighters aren’t just putting the “Red” back in “Lobster,” they’re taking the “E” […]

Teabaggers Prove They're Not Racist (& Love Coloreds!) By Firing One Totally Racist Guy Who Used To Be Their Spokesman

When you’re a Teabagger, that is, a member of the elite group that shares its moniker with the incredibly sexy act of dipping testicles into open, gaping mouths or slapping them atop the head, cheek or anywhere else balls can be swung, who thinks dressing up like Benjamin Franklin and hollerin’ ’bout black Socialist […]

Fearful Iowa Teabaggers Fail To Heed Their Own Warning; Naively Forced To Remove Lovely Obama As Hitler Billboard

The lovely herb ‘n spice patriots of the North Iowa Tea Party scoured pants pockets and couch cushions pooling their loose change together to let all of Mason City (and the world!) know that President Barack Obama is a terrible SOCIALIST just like his two BFF’s Adolf Hitler and Vladimir Lenin.

But sure enough, as […]

Teabaggers Don't Understand Why The NAACP Thinks Mobs Of Armed White Men Trying To Take Back Their Country From Blacky NObama Is In Any Way Racist

First Lady of arm muscles Michelle Obama and her toned, sexy upper limbs headed down to America’s #1 party destination Kansas City to attend the annual convention of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), where the organization will, among other things, vote on a resolution condemning the Tea Party movement as […]

Sharron Angle Knows When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade & Thank Jesus For Giving You Anything, Even If It’s Spoiled Rinds Or Li’l Miracles Of Incestuous Rape

Ooooh, another adorable wingnut surprise from the parched West, dem parts where they don’t take too kindly to strangers, like dirty Mexicans in their backyards or Kenyans in their White House.

But, who is this new delicious desert-fried bite of unbridled crazy, and where in God’s scorched desert landscape did she come from?

Why, it’s Sharron Angle, […]